Where the S.H.I.T. (Shame Hurt Insecurities Triggers) Comes From
Childhood Hurts become Adult Emotional Wounds
Childhood Programming become Adult Perceptions
Childhood Rejections become Adult Low Self-esteem
Childhood Abuse become Adult Fears
Childhood Insecurities become an Adult Insecurities
Childhood Experiences become Adult Expectations
As adults we are negatively impacted by the traumatic and toxic experiences of our childhood relationships.
The emotional triggers we experience are the result of unhealed emotional wounds.
Unhealed childhood emotional and physical traumas become adulthood dysfunction, disorders and struggles.
Our internal fight or flight response causes us to either react or retreat. These tendencies to react and retreat often show up as dysfunction in our relationships and cause great disconnect.
Our perception of love is based on what we were taught through what we saw as children.
Our understanding of love and relationships through the eyes of our inner child is how we tend to show up in our relationships as adults.
Dysfunction and broken childhood relationship experiences become the foundation of our adult relationships and if not addressed, and healed, show up as dysfunction and brokenness in our adult relationship experiences.
We are not taught HOW to do relationships. We are shown.
Transforming your External Relationships Begins Within
Every relationship you have with others is an extension of your thoughts and beliefs about relationships.
If you have unhealed trauma from childhood relationships, the residue (i.e. affects of the trauma) will show up in your relationship with others.
Children need to feel that they are loved by their mothers and protected by their fathers.
If a child doesn't feel loved by their mother they will struggle with self love, self value, and self acceptance.
If your childhood relationship with your mother was fractured you may find it difficult to tap into the nurturing aspect of yourself and come across as being hardened or closed off.
If a child doesn't feel protected by their father they struggle with feeling safe... emotionally, physically and spiritually. They tend to struggle with insecurity and feeling exposed.
The mother fosters the internal while the father covers the external.
Addressing and healing your emotional wounds is definitely beneficial first to you, and by extension your relationship with others.
Emotional healing is not only essential for your own well-being but is necessary to have healthy emotional relationships with others.
If you feel that you need support in uncovering and working through unresolved childhood traumas, shame, hurt and insecurity issues I would love to support you.
Click here and let's talk.
When seeking professional help to overcome your mental and emotional challenges what is most important is finding a service and provider that make you feel comfortable and safe.
There can be a lot of shame attached to life challenges that affect your mental and emotional health. What's important for you to know is that you are not the only one dealing with challenges and struggles.
Life coaches and therapists can be super beneficial in helping you move through to the other side because they likely have had to overcome their own S.H.I.T. (Shame Hurt Insecurities and Triggers.)
Finding a professional who is transparent about the challenges they have overcome can be very comforting because let's face it, nobody wants to feel that they are alone in the world of struggle.
So how do I know which one to choose?
The major difference between life coaching and therapy is therapy has it's main focus on mental health, while life coaching focuses on mastering the game of life while offering you support in creating the life you desire to live in the future.
Here are some of the main differences:
Therapists are trained mental health professionals who are regulated and required to be licensed in their field.
Life coaches do not have mental health training and are not equipped to diagnose or treat mental health conditions (unless they have been trained as a therapist, which is also common).
When to work with a Life Coach:
When to work with a Therapist:
How to Pick The Right Person
I am Denika Carothers, Life Coach, author, healer and Mental and Emotional Wellness specialist. I help my clients transcend the pain and trauma of rejection, grief, abandonment, loss and abuse.