Let me start by saying that it is okay to acknowledge what you don't want. However, you want to allow what you don't want to guide you to what you do want.
When you feel like you don't have enough money and you don't want to be stressed financially, it causes you to recognize that you want more money and you desire the freedom and experience that money can give you.
When you ask for financial freedom and more prosperity your inner being immediately becomes the equivalent of prosperity. But when you don't immediately become the equivalent of prosperity, as in being optimistic or anticipating it, then there is a vibrational difference between you (your thoughts) and your inner being (your desire) and that's when you feel doubt, fear and worry.
When you feel good you are in alignment with your inner being. When you are in alignment you are in receptive mode. When you accept in your thoughts the financial freedom, the prosperity that your inner being already is then you can be the receptive vibration to the manifestation of the prosperity you desire.
Everything begins in the form of vibration. You can only attract what you are asking for if you believe it will be.
When you see the absence of money rather than presence of money you are creating lack and "not enough". Worry and fear causes you not to see the money coming in.
When you continuously think about what you don't have, why you don't have it, the impossibility of getting it you create a void between you and it. When you say I'm afraid I don't have enough that's practicing the opposite of the thought that I desire financial freedom. You will invite into your experience whatever you worry about.
You have to find the way to align with how your inner being feels about this and when you accomplish this there will be no contradiction in your vibration. You and your powerful inner being are aligned with more money coming to you. By your positive anticipation you are letting it in. With your worry and doubt you keep it out.
Until you find another way of looking at your situation, your vibration will not shift. If your vibration does not shift your situation can't change.
Remember this... your thoughts turn into things so turn your thoughts into the things you want.
The aspect of yourself that you don't see attracts what you experience. When you feel different you will attract different and when you attract different you will experience different manifestations.
You have to understand creation in terms of broadcasting and receiving. Your inner being is broadcasting receiving but in your thoughts you are broadcasting doubt. You can't set your radio tuner to 103.5 FM and hear what's being broadcast on 810AM.
You cannot receive from a different frequency than what you are transmitting.
The Universe will respond to the vibration that you emit. You have to show yourself something different. So how are you going to manifest what you desire?
You have to get in the receptive mode. You can't be focused on the absence and tune into your inner being. Your inner being is standing in prosperity.
Unfortunately many allow what they see to determine where they set their vibrational tuner. You likely have worried about money or the lack of it for a long time. So you've activated a bunch of vibrations concerning it. If you want the prosperity that is due to you you have to find a way to line up with it.
You have to be willing to give up what you view as your own limitations. Every time you say it's hard, I can't, I haven't, nobody I know is doing it, you are practicing setting your receptive mode to the absence of financial freedom.
You really don't believe in your ability to have what you desire. You believe more in the bank account number or the debt. Your current reality is temporary and can change over and over again. With just a little bit of attention to stay focused on what you desire, things will change.
If you believe and broadcast prosperity with no doubt or unbelief you will receive it. You have to learn how to position yourself to receive what you desire to have.
If your receptive mode is not set to financial freedom it is set to broke or lack. You know where your tuner is set by how you feel and by what's happening. If financial freedom isn't flowing to you you have your tuner tuned to lack.
Don't live according to someone else's reality or the "reality" that you see. You have to conquer it vibrationally, not financially. Don't let things external to you affect your vibration.
An intentional positive attitude is the pathway to the financial freedom you seek. Do what you need to do to keep yourself feeling better. Get the momentum of good feelings going. Your bad feeling lets you know that you are out of vibrational alignment.
People around you create financial freedom and prosperity every day. What's the difference between having it and not having it?
The way you think, believe and feel about it.
It happens by practicing the thoughts that allow it to be rather than practicing the thoughts that repel it from showing up.
The more amazing you feel your life is the more you want to experience amazing things. Your inner being becomes the essence of the freedom and the experience. Your inner being desires only what is good and emits pure desires from which you can attract all good things.
This is how the money comes to you by way of the Law of Attraction.
Are you thinking thoughts that are out of alignment with the desires of your inner being?
You hear a lot of talk about manifestation and the law of attraction but how do you really use the law of attraction to manifest what you desire to have?
I have a very simple answer to this question... you must be INTENTIONAL with your thoughts.
You create your own reality and it's important for you to understand exactly how you are doing that.
You are creating based on your focus on the thing that you think about. You don't have to debate with the world the rightness or wrongness about something. Your responsibility to yourself is to focus only on what you desire to experience.
A couple of years ago, when police were stopping and shooting black people it seemed every week, my daughter was taking a road trip to visit family members in Florida. She was driving there from Texas. Her thoughts were so consumed with worry about being stopped by the police. I encouraged her to drive the speed limit by setting her cruise control 2 mph below the speed limit and not to worry about it.
Well she didn't listen to her mother about not worrying and continued to allow her thoughts to focus on being stopped in the days leading up to her trip.
She called me as she was setting out on her drive and I encouraged her by telling her "you are safe!"
About two hours into her drive she calls me on the phone to let me know that a police car was flashing their lights behind her for her to stop. I could hear the nervousness in her voice and I proceeded to remind her that she was safe.
I immediately went into prayer and called on her angels and mine to assist in this process. I again declared out loud that she was safe and that this situation would work out for the good. No other options were on the table for me!
She called me back about 15 minutes later to let me know that a black police officer had pulled up on the scene and after having a conversation with her he told her that she could leave, and to be safe.
My words to her were... "now that you have created the reality of being stopped by the police, do you think you can drive to Florida in peace without worrying?"
She laughed out loud and replied, "Yes ma'am!"
The rest of her trip was eventful in great ways. Her drive back was uneventful.
What is your focus when it comes to the way you think about events in your life?
There are only two focuses of thought... thoughts that feel good and thoughts that don't feel good. This might sound very simple but it's simply beautiful to understand this.
Most people focus on things that cause worry. You can change this point of focus by deciding to be intentional, creative and contemplative in your thinking. You want to contemplate from the place of what you desire for rather than what you don't want to happen.
Being clear-minded in your thinking will allow you to access the greatest potential that your inner being is transmitting the desire for.
You have to step out in front of your thoughts before they create a reality that you don't wish to experience. Become aware of how your thoughts make you feel.
Every subject is really two subjects... What is wanted and the absence of what is wanted. As you focus on the problem, which causes you to worry, you are unable to see the solution that always accompanies a problem.
As long as you choose to entertain thoughts of worry you prevent yourself from tapping into the solution. However, when you realize that the thought of worry is designed to help you create the solution, you can then move from worry, or problem mode, to creating the solution to the problem.
You don't want what you are worrying about. You want something different to what you are worrying about. Your focus needs to be on the opposite of what you are worrying about. Which is in alignment with the desire of your inner being.
Choosing to let go of the worry will create space for the solution to occur to you. Choose to turn your attention to what you want so that you can create satisfaction for yourself.
Choosing to focus on being in sync with who you really are will automatically move the worry to a different place. Replace the worry and you will align with your inner desires.
Important to note is that when you constantly speak that which is the opposite of what you want, you activate what you don't like. You create resistance to what you desire when you focus on what you don't have and why you can't have it.
When you focus on what's wrong, what you don't like, what you fear will be you are in complete resistance to what you truly desire to have.
Rather than focusing on what you don't want to experience intentionally hold the thought of what will satisfy you.
You have to emit in thought frequency what you want to attract to yourself. Let your thoughts be resonant to what you desire rather than in opposition to it.
In business if you are worried about not making enough money you will attract to yourself people who can't afford your product.
In your personal relationships if you are worried about being mistreated you will attract to yourself people who don't treat you the way you desire to be treated.
Your thoughts create a vibration. Your vibration creates a frequency. Your frequency creates a point of attraction. If your point of attraction is what you don't want you will attract to yourself what you don't want.
When you get excited about making money you will create an attraction to money and a whole different segment of clients will be drawn to you. Your referrals will be off the charts and your sales will be over the top.
When you understand that you are worthy of love and respect, and you firstly give this to yourself, you will attract relationships that are in vibrational alignment to what you KNOW you deserve.
Your inner being knows what you should have and when you allow your thoughts to align with this knowing you will allow satisfaction to flow to you... no resistance.
Shifting your thoughts allows for your experience to change. This will cause you to feel different. When you feel different you attract different. When you attract different then your manifested experience will be different.
The more beautiful life feels to you the more you want to experience the beauty of life. When you don't have enough of something you naturally want more.
Allow your thoughts of not having enough of what you want turn your attention to what you wish to have and let your focus remain on having it, rather than the lack of it. This is how you will create the having of it.
Worry creates resistance to having it. Believing you have it creates the existence of it.
Your inner being does not focus on the trauma, the drama, the trouble or the lack. Your mind does. The big YOU is your inner broadcast, or your inner desire. The small you is your thought broadcast. Your inner desire and your thought as it pertains to that desire, must be in alignment for what you desire to manifest.
When you desire prosperity your inner being responds immediately to become the equivalent of prosperity However if in your thoughts you doubt the possibility of that prosperity you create a vibrational difference between you and your inner being, allowing worry to become your focus.
So you have to sync up with the way your inner being thinks about prosperity and when you do there will be no contradiction in your vibration to the creation of prosperity. This will allow for more money to come to you.
Your vibration will either let it in or keep it out.
When you feel good you are in alignment with your inner being. You are in receptive mode to what your inner being desires to create. Accepting the prosperity that your inner being already is allows for the manifestation of the prosperity to take place.
You don't attract what you ask for. You attract what you believe is possible for you to have.
When you see the absence rather than the presence you will see absence in your manifested reality.
When you ask for what you desire believe that you have it, that you have access to it, that you deserve what you desire and it will be yours. Practice the thoughts that allow for it to be rather than practicing thoughts that oppose it.
You will create what you think it is. Remember what you broadcast in your thoughts you will receive. You have to line up with the frequency of the broadcast of your inner being, or your inner desire. As you think, in alignment with your inner desire (heart) so you will be.
Be intentional to think only about what you want. Dump all thoughts of what you do not want and watch how you will begin to manifest amazing experiences.
2019 has been a year of shedding and releasing. This year has given me many opportunities to go deeper within and explore my inner truth. And what I have learned is this...
1. I alone am responsible to let go of any and everything that does not serve my Highest good.
2. You have to walk out of one door in order to walk through another one.
3. I am as strong as I think I am.
4. My truths don't have to be understood or accepted by anyone else for me to be okay with living them.
5. I am worthy just because I am.
6. I don't have to prove myself to be accepted. I simply need to accept myself.
7. When I believe it's on its way to me, it always arrives so trust the process.
8. That trusting what I KNOW is more PowHERful than trusting what I see.
9. Life is a gift that can be unwrapped and enjoyed every day if I choose.
10. The only thing that TRULY matters is right now and what I do with that right now makes a difference.
11. Challenges are the pathway to growth.
12. Worry is an obstacle to belief and yet is the belief that will create obstacles.
13. BE me... PowHERfully, Lovingly and Unapologetically.
14. Don't be afraid to feel... your feelings are messages that need to be paid attention to.
15. Live from my heart rather than from my head. My heart is the doorway to my soul.
16. When I connect authentically to my soul, I authentically connect to others.
17. Trust myself and the truth within me.
18. If I desire it I can CREATE it.
What did 2019 come to teach you?
Need some clarity on how you can create PowHER and purpose in your life. Schedule a complimentary soul checkup call with me here.
In one way or another we all become attached to our fears... fears that became ingrained and rooted into our subconscious mind as children. Young minds and souls soak up every word that is spoken and every emotion that is expressed or felt...
The constant criticism, the arguments that we overhear, the judgements that we feel affect us at a cellular level and become a part of our cellular memory. It creates a disconnect in function (dysfunction) in our relationship with self and in our relationships with others.
This creates fear, mistrust, doubt and worry in our relationships, both external and internal.
This is why often throughout our lives we experience eruptions of fearful feelings that create obstacles on our path to success.
The fear of rejection often cripples us from moving towards what we want or showing up for what we desire.
Or we become unhealthily tied to destructive, dysfunctional relationships and situations that cripple us rather than catapult us. We find ourselves depending on external sources to make us feel safe and secure, and when they don't we get caught up in a never ending cycle of disappointment and frustration.
When your self-worth is tied up in something outside of you you are never safe. Emotional attachment to something that is unhealthy severely limits your ability to RECLAIM your PowHER. You can't reclaim something as long as you're allowing someone, or something else the rights to hold on to it.
Have you attached your hopes and dreams of happiness on someone or something external?
Attachment, a fastening or fixation, will keep you stuck. Stuck to your fears and limiting beliefs, which keep you in holding patterns of discontentment and 'not enoughness'.
These behaviors drive your every thought and action. They become the habit that you perform every day. They shape your world and create your reality.
So why do we choose to remain stuck and hesitate to make a change?
What you are not changing you ARE choosing.
Basically it's the fear that is deep rooted within us connected to the rejection and abandonment that we experienced as a child. The fear that is so deeply rooted in our subconscious program that we unconsciously use to help us feel emotionally 'safe' and avoid further pain and disappointment from being rejected, abandoned or judged.
But the longer we avoid our fears the more we become attached and the longer we stay stuck.
Subconscious fears and beliefs affect our operating system... they affect the way we operate in our life. Though we feel that we are 'avoiding' what we fear, the fear actually becomes the fuel that creates the flame... the continuous cycle.
You can't run away from your fears... they are a part of you and go wherever you do.
My emotional attachment crippled me for years.
Throughout my teenage years and well into my adulthood I was plagued by a deep sense of rejection. Even though I was sociable and didn't have a problem connecting with others, deep inside I always felt that I wasn't good enough and that I wasn't fully accepted. I felt that there was everyone else... and then there was me. Even though I was in the circle I never felt that I was a part of the crowd.
I often felt alone and empty on the inside. I felt that no matter how much I wanted to be accepted I wasn't. It drove me into a habit of physical detachment... being able to quickly walk away from relationships yet still finding myself emotionally attached and feeling like the victim. This eventually led to suicide attempts and depression.
All I could see and feel was the emptiness and loneliness but didn't realize back then that I was creating this reality for myself. And so what I ended up doing was creating relationships that supported the empty, lonely feeling. I had a strong external shell but inside, being the sensitive being that I am, I felt the pain at deep, profound levels.
I became afraid of forever being in this pattern of unfulfilling, disconnected relationships. I tried so hard to run from my fear not realizing that my fear was creating the very thing that I was afraid of experiencing. As I tried to run from it, it ran WITH ME.
Attachment keeps us in turmoil emotionally.
Our struggle to get out of the battle just reinforces our attachment to the fight. This is what I recognized was happening with me. As I began to awaken to my Divine Feminine I allowed my soul to show me the way out.
As I awakened I realized that my fear of being rejected created a fear of being seen. So as much as I craved for a truly loving and connected relationship I found that I was creating, by way of my fear, disconnected relationships where who I was was serving the other person but I wasn't being served by them. Whenever I started to feel close and open myself up to others, my subconscious fear of being rejected eventually created a feeling within me that there was a disconnect. And this 'feeling' eventually created the experience.
So as much as I wanted to experience true love my fear was keeping me from opening up to let it fully in. This became my experience in personal and professional relationships until I learned how to transcend and transmute the energies of rejection.
Desi's attachment to 'fear of not being valued'.
Desi had an ongoing internal battle with the emotional attachment - 'fear of not being valued'.
She craved for connected, supportive relationships but found herself constantly experiencing that she was giving more than she was receiving. Whenever Desi felt that she was starting to feel close to someone there rose a feeling of judgement.
She then found herself not giving to the relationships what she wanted from them, which left her feeling unfulfilled in her relationships and that they weren't creating for her the experience of joy and peace that she desired. She found herself in a continuous cycle of disconnected relationships.
The 'wanting' and then the 'rejecting' of the very thing that she desired had become for her a crippling relationship pattern. It created obstacles to her having the connected, fulfilling relationships that she desired. Episodes of anger and frustration were affecting her peace.
When Desi began working with me I connected to her soul to see the root cause of why she was always afraid of connection. I began to identify events in her childhood that clearly explained what was really happening. I was shown a vision of a little girl who always felt that her siblings were loved more than she was. She felt that while everyone dotted on her siblings they always judged and criticized her. Her 'truth' that she was loved less, created a loveless energy within her after all she couldn't give more than she was receiving in her mind. And as bad as she wanted it, she began to believe that she wasn't valued enough to receive it.
Her parents had separated when she was a child and she felt judged by her mother and abandoned by her father. She felt that she had to overachieve to be accepted but her deep rooted feeling of rejection made it difficult for her to feel that anything she did was good enough. She grew up feeling that, even though she thought she was amazing (not really though), nobody else appreciated the goodness within her. She felt unloveable and a strong mistrust of love developed in her early years due to the judgement that she felt. Consequently Desi never felt like she was 'enough' and always questioned her value and worth.
Her mother's sense of devalue, unhappiness and judgement, due to the pain and disappointment she had in her own relationship, resulted in these energies being hurled at Desi. We worked to9gether on healing the way Desi felt about herself so she could clear the emotional attachments she had to how she felt other's made her feel.
Emotional attachment takes root in many places
Limiting beliefs and relationship patterns can block our path to experiencing true unconditional love of self and others. The roots to these are always found in our childhood and family experiences and environment. These energies can be passed to us in our womb experience as well as through our past lives and ancestral DNA.
They damage the relationship we have with our Divine Self. We operate in fear when it comes to trusting the most important relationship that we have... the one with our Self.
But we have a choice.
We can choose to release the self-sabotaging attachments and be free of them forever.
I have helped thousands of people, mostly women, to break free from fear, limiting belief systems, rejection and the effects of traumatic events, to be able to reclaim their power and live happy, fulfilling and successful lives.
Commitment to the care of self and achieving peace in your life is your highest priority. You cannot give to another what you are not able to gift to yourself.
Keep reading to identify if you are being affected by negative emotional attachments.
1. Say "yes" to others at the expense of saying "no" to yourself?
2. Focus on the happiness of others more than on your own happiness?
3. Put everything and everybody before yourself in your attempt to please others??
4. Go on the defense to feel in control or get your own way?
5. Attract people in relationships that let you down? That take and don't give? Take advantage of your kindness and generosity?
6. Resist emotional intimacy with someone you love?
7. Become stubborn, defensive or argumentative in order not to take action or make decisions.
8. Get easily put off on sharing your dreams because of the opinion of others?
9.Feel like you need to tip-toe around when communicating what you need, desire or want?
10. Feel anxious of how other's will react to you when you say how you feel?
11. Use blame or judgement to feel strong or okay with who you are?
12. Hear negative or doubtful thoughts jumping in and out of your mind when you imagine your ideal life and relationship?
13. Look to others for happiness and validation?
14. Go along with the crowd just to 'get along'?
15. Become easily distracted when working on something that is designed to help you achieve your goals?
16. Struggle with overindulgence in food, alcohol or other addictions?
What emotional, mental or physical attachments are blocking your path to authentic joy and success?
Need help releasing? Ready to be liberated emotionally, mentally and spiritually? Desire to be at peace with your past? Want to clear limiting beliefs, fears and inherited patterns from childhood and familial and ancestral lines for good?
If you would like help book a complimentary soul checkup session here.
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I am Denika Carothers, Life Coach, author, healer and Mental and Emotional Wellness specialist. I help my clients transcend the pain and trauma of rejection, grief, abandonment, loss and abuse.