In one way or another we all become attached to our fears... fears that became ingrained and rooted into our subconscious mind as children. Young minds and souls soak up every word that is spoken and every emotion that is expressed or felt... The constant criticism, the arguments that we overhear, the judgements that we feel affect us at a cellular level and become a part of our cellular memory. It creates a disconnect in function (dysfunction) in our relationship with self and in our relationships with others. This creates fear, mistrust, doubt and worry in our relationships, both external and internal. This is why often throughout our lives we experience eruptions of fearful feelings that create obstacles on our path to success. The fear of rejection often cripples us from moving towards what we want or showing up for what we desire. Or we become unhealthily tied to destructive, dysfunctional relationships and situations that cripple us rather than catapult us. We find ourselves depending on external sources to make us feel safe and secure, and when they don't we get caught up in a never ending cycle of disappointment and frustration. When your self-worth is tied up in something outside of you you are never safe. Emotional attachment to something that is unhealthy severely limits your ability to RECLAIM your PowHER. You can't reclaim something as long as you're allowing someone, or something else the rights to hold on to it. Have you attached your hopes and dreams of happiness on someone or something external? Attachment, a fastening or fixation, will keep you stuck. Stuck to your fears and limiting beliefs, which keep you in holding patterns of discontentment and 'not enoughness'. These behaviors drive your every thought and action. They become the habit that you perform every day. They shape your world and create your reality. So why do we choose to remain stuck and hesitate to make a change?What you are not changing you ARE choosing. Basically it's the fear that is deep rooted within us connected to the rejection and abandonment that we experienced as a child. The fear that is so deeply rooted in our subconscious program that we unconsciously use to help us feel emotionally 'safe' and avoid further pain and disappointment from being rejected, abandoned or judged. But the longer we avoid our fears the more we become attached and the longer we stay stuck. Subconscious fears and beliefs affect our operating system... they affect the way we operate in our life. Though we feel that we are 'avoiding' what we fear, the fear actually becomes the fuel that creates the flame... the continuous cycle. You can't run away from your fears... they are a part of you and go wherever you do. My emotional attachment crippled me for years.Throughout my teenage years and well into my adulthood I was plagued by a deep sense of rejection. Even though I was sociable and didn't have a problem connecting with others, deep inside I always felt that I wasn't good enough and that I wasn't fully accepted. I felt that there was everyone else... and then there was me. Even though I was in the circle I never felt that I was a part of the crowd. I often felt alone and empty on the inside. I felt that no matter how much I wanted to be accepted I wasn't. It drove me into a habit of physical detachment... being able to quickly walk away from relationships yet still finding myself emotionally attached and feeling like the victim. This eventually led to suicide attempts and depression. All I could see and feel was the emptiness and loneliness but didn't realize back then that I was creating this reality for myself. And so what I ended up doing was creating relationships that supported the empty, lonely feeling. I had a strong external shell but inside, being the sensitive being that I am, I felt the pain at deep, profound levels. I became afraid of forever being in this pattern of unfulfilling, disconnected relationships. I tried so hard to run from my fear not realizing that my fear was creating the very thing that I was afraid of experiencing. As I tried to run from it, it ran WITH ME. Attachment keeps us in turmoil emotionally.Our struggle to get out of the battle just reinforces our attachment to the fight. This is what I recognized was happening with me. As I began to awaken to my Divine Feminine I allowed my soul to show me the way out. As I awakened I realized that my fear of being rejected created a fear of being seen. So as much as I craved for a truly loving and connected relationship I found that I was creating, by way of my fear, disconnected relationships where who I was was serving the other person but I wasn't being served by them. Whenever I started to feel close and open myself up to others, my subconscious fear of being rejected eventually created a feeling within me that there was a disconnect. And this 'feeling' eventually created the experience. So as much as I wanted to experience true love my fear was keeping me from opening up to let it fully in. This became my experience in personal and professional relationships until I learned how to transcend and transmute the energies of rejection. Desi's attachment to 'fear of not being valued'.Desi had an ongoing internal battle with the emotional attachment - 'fear of not being valued'. She craved for connected, supportive relationships but found herself constantly experiencing that she was giving more than she was receiving. Whenever Desi felt that she was starting to feel close to someone there rose a feeling of judgement. She then found herself not giving to the relationships what she wanted from them, which left her feeling unfulfilled in her relationships and that they weren't creating for her the experience of joy and peace that she desired. She found herself in a continuous cycle of disconnected relationships. The 'wanting' and then the 'rejecting' of the very thing that she desired had become for her a crippling relationship pattern. It created obstacles to her having the connected, fulfilling relationships that she desired. Episodes of anger and frustration were affecting her peace. When Desi began working with me I connected to her soul to see the root cause of why she was always afraid of connection. I began to identify events in her childhood that clearly explained what was really happening. I was shown a vision of a little girl who always felt that her siblings were loved more than she was. She felt that while everyone dotted on her siblings they always judged and criticized her. Her 'truth' that she was loved less, created a loveless energy within her after all she couldn't give more than she was receiving in her mind. And as bad as she wanted it, she began to believe that she wasn't valued enough to receive it. Her parents had separated when she was a child and she felt judged by her mother and abandoned by her father. She felt that she had to overachieve to be accepted but her deep rooted feeling of rejection made it difficult for her to feel that anything she did was good enough. She grew up feeling that, even though she thought she was amazing (not really though), nobody else appreciated the goodness within her. She felt unloveable and a strong mistrust of love developed in her early years due to the judgement that she felt. Consequently Desi never felt like she was 'enough' and always questioned her value and worth. Her mother's sense of devalue, unhappiness and judgement, due to the pain and disappointment she had in her own relationship, resulted in these energies being hurled at Desi. We worked to9gether on healing the way Desi felt about herself so she could clear the emotional attachments she had to how she felt other's made her feel. Emotional attachment takes root in many placesLimiting beliefs and relationship patterns can block our path to experiencing true unconditional love of self and others. The roots to these are always found in our childhood and family experiences and environment. These energies can be passed to us in our womb experience as well as through our past lives and ancestral DNA.
They damage the relationship we have with our Divine Self. We operate in fear when it comes to trusting the most important relationship that we have... the one with our Self. But we have a choice. We can choose to release the self-sabotaging attachments and be free of them forever. I have helped thousands of people, mostly women, to break free from fear, limiting belief systems, rejection and the effects of traumatic events, to be able to reclaim their power and live happy, fulfilling and successful lives. Commitment to the care of self and achieving peace in your life is your highest priority. You cannot give to another what you are not able to gift to yourself. Keep reading to identify if you are being affected by negative emotional attachments. Do you... 1. Say "yes" to others at the expense of saying "no" to yourself? 2. Focus on the happiness of others more than on your own happiness? 3. Put everything and everybody before yourself in your attempt to please others?? 4. Go on the defense to feel in control or get your own way? 5. Attract people in relationships that let you down? That take and don't give? Take advantage of your kindness and generosity? 6. Resist emotional intimacy with someone you love? 7. Become stubborn, defensive or argumentative in order not to take action or make decisions. 8. Get easily put off on sharing your dreams because of the opinion of others? 9.Feel like you need to tip-toe around when communicating what you need, desire or want? 10. Feel anxious of how other's will react to you when you say how you feel? 11. Use blame or judgement to feel strong or okay with who you are? 12. Hear negative or doubtful thoughts jumping in and out of your mind when you imagine your ideal life and relationship? 13. Look to others for happiness and validation? 14. Go along with the crowd just to 'get along'? 15. Become easily distracted when working on something that is designed to help you achieve your goals? 16. Struggle with overindulgence in food, alcohol or other addictions? What emotional, mental or physical attachments are blocking your path to authentic joy and success? Need help releasing? Ready to be liberated emotionally, mentally and spiritually? Desire to be at peace with your past? Want to clear limiting beliefs, fears and inherited patterns from childhood and familial and ancestral lines for good? If you would like help book a complimentary soul checkup session here. #DivineFeminine #Energy #Spirituality #Influencer #DivinePowHER #PowHERup #reclaimyourpowher #Relationships #selfempowerment #selfawareness #selfworth #selfvalue #contributor #writer #author #mindsetdevelopmentcoach #mindsetdevelopment #mindsetshift #emotionalintelligence #emotionalhealth #feminine #powerofwomennow #freshperspective #spirituallifecoach #divinefeminineawakening #intuitivecoach #spirituallifecoach
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INSECURE... not comfortable being me. It didn't show to the outside world because I was bossy and put up a pretty good confidence facade. But I felt it every day. 🤷🏻 I didn’t like being seen. 🤷🏻 I didn’t feel comfortable in front of an audience. 🤷🏻 I felt like I was having a seizure every time I had to give a speech or be on stage. 🤷🏻 I was uncomfortable AF in my own skin. Sound familiar? Over the past seven years I have travelled worldwide to speak at conferences, hosted workshops and have helped thousands of women all over the world to R.E.C.L.A.I.M. their PowHER.
You see I knew that my purpose required me to be on camera, in front of audiences and walking in power. I am the face of my brand so if I didn't tap into the power to "show up" I was in trouble. I remember when I hated taking pictures. My father owned a recording and television studio and I hated being on camera. I would cringe and feel very uncomfortable. But I made a decision to move beyond the discomfort and as I did this I found myself feeling more comfortable in front of people and being seen. But I still had something else I needed to work on... Even though I had made a decision to power through, energetically something was missing. And even though I felt better taking pictures and I mustered up the courage to be in front of a video camera, there was something else that wasn't quite right. It took me a few years to discover what it was. You see growing up I never believed I was as beautiful or as smart as everyone around me. 🤦♀️ I grew up insecure and defensive. 🤦♀️ I was the one that everybody judged. 🤦♀️ I was the one who was overweight. In some ways, it even showed up in my business too because I struggled at times with my confidence and belief in myself. Because I never believed I was valuable, or even worthy often times, I never fully owned my power in front of others. Because I never believed I was enough, I doubted my own brilliance in my personal and professional capacities and didn’t fully walk in my PowHER. When I realized this, I was surprised how my old identity kept me from really becoming the best version of myself personally and professionally. Although I’m sharing about my evolution of owning my beauty, my gifts, my power and being comfortable in front of others, it’s more than that... It’s about BELIEVING in yourself, OWNING who you are and BECOMING the greatest version of yourself by stepping into the fullest potential of the brilliant, amazing, and PowHER that is YOU. For me to authentically show up as my beautiful, bright, magnetic self, I had to break my old self identity and limiting beliefs about me and create new ones. I had to do the inner work to embrace my power, beauty and magnificence on a deep energetic level. Every day, affirming, visualizing and feeling this beautiful Divine Feminine radiating from the depths of my soul. I did this every day, until I believed in my core I was the beautiful, brilliant, powerful goddess that I was created to be. Now this didn’t happen instantly, but because I was willing and determined to shift is the reason why I now show up dramatically different in my life and business. My entire essence and way of being shifted by breaking free of this old self identity and creating a new one. 🌟 It all starts from a thought. 🌟 Then a belief and a feeling. 🌟 Once you master all of these, you become the highest version of yourself. You become the radiant and magnetic person you were born to be. It starts from within... you have to do the inner work. 💖 It starts with fully understanding who you are and what you desire. 💖 It starts with owning your amazing, your gifts and your PowHER. 💖 It starts with radiating the essence and authenticity of YOU. It starts by becoming the GREATEST VERSION of yourself so your brilliance, inner glow, spark, essence, and magnetism shine from the inside out. Becoming the best version of yourself will ensure that you, and others, fall in love with you. And this is exactly why I teach my clients to R.E.C.L.A.I.M. Your PowHER. They become the greatest, fullest expression of themselves by OWNING their amazing and walking into their potential, purpose and PowHER. Because nothing will outshine your radiance and magnetism when you connect to your authentic self. You have the power to remove your old self identity, create a new identity, and build a life that supports the new identity. But the first step is to DECIDE to take the ACTION. To DECIDE to FACE your shit and OWN your brilliance. To DECIDE to FULLY COMMIT to do what it takes to show up PowHERfully DAILY! You were BORN to be amazing. You were BORN to be PowHERful. You were BORN to be a light in this world. You were BORN for a purpose. You were BORN to make a difference. It’s time to DECIDE to be who and what you truly are. Are you ready to R.E.C.L.A.I.M. Your PowHER? www.DenikaCarothersLive.com Whether out loud, or in the thoughts of your mind, I am certain that this is a question that you have asked at some point in your life.
The truth is that most of us ask this question of life. I know that when I was in my 20's, in a dysfunctional, unhappy marriage and raising my children as a single mother I asked this question often. Then when my marriage finally ended and my baby sister, who was my best friend, died in a car accident at 29 years old, I felt like my life had exploded from within. This question was at the beginning of my every day and at the end of my every night. This question begins as a thought and is often connected to real difficulty in life. If you have ever experienced any of the following, you have asked this question at some point in your life...
Let me explain... Our relationships are a huge factor in our lives, both our personal and our professional relationships. Often, when we feel bogged down by life, or in life, our relationships are often either the cause, or neglected and affected in some way. When our relationships aren't going right, our thoughts tend to be all over the place. And often we don't realize how everything in our life is connected to EVERYTHING in our life. When it's not going right, we're not thinking right. When we're not thinking right, it's not going right. But this is the thing... Whenever you say, or accept, that life is hard what you are essentially doing is coming into agreement with struggle and difficulty taking place in your life. I know it may sound complicated but it's really pretty simple. But the thing is that, the difficulty, or "hard" that we feel is often connected to a relationship of some kind. Some of your relationships will cause you more heartache than joy, more pain than pleasure, more stress than security, and more tears than laughter. These types of relationships are hard and can make your life feel really difficult. And though these kinds of relationships bring no fulfillment, no amazing, no feelings of connection and no power to you... they can bring power FOR you when you understand their purpose. Truthfully, these relationships are the most powerful relationships. Why??? Let me explain it a little better in this video. Still bound to the emotion of the relationship? Most people desire to be free and they feel that the greatest achievement in life is freedom. Unfortunately most people feel that they have lost their sense of freedom in some respect. But do you know what's even better than being free? Being L.I.B.E.R.A.T.E.D! Being free means that you are no longer attached to it (whatever it is.) But when you are liberated, you are no longer BOUND by it. Many are free from the relationship... divorced, separated, broken up. However, they are still bound to the emotion of the relationship... the pain, the anger, the disappointment, the un-forgiveness, the depression, the insecurity, and the regret. Your soul cannot move forward when it is bound to the past. You can't journey to a new adventure, you can't find your way to peace, true joy will always remain out of reach if you're bound to an emotion that's keeping you stuck in the past. Your soul can't even dream about peace and happiness because it's seeing the future through the lens of what has happened. You're having difficulty controlling your thoughts because you're stuck in your mind. And the only way you can begin to attain liberation is to be still and know your Divine Essence - your Goddess within. When you learn to live in the now, you liberate yourself from the past and free yourself to create an amazing future. You will be able to see possibilities you've never seen before. Isn't that exciting? When you live in the present moment you become more happy, you feel more fulfilled, you get excited about your life every day and you are able to become the greatest version of yourself. Living in guilt, grief, hurt, shame, unworthiness and from a place of "not enough" will keep you stuck in lack. Your focus is constantly on what's missing, limitations, pain, regrets and what's "so hard." Who really wants that for their life? Don't believe the "impossible" story that you've read or heard... or, worse yet, told yourself. It IS possible to be happy... It IS possible to be free... It IS possible to feel joy... It IS possible to move forward... It IS possible to achieve success... It IS possible to experience true, pure, genuine love in ALL of your relationships. There's a greater life awaiting you but if your emotions are keeping you bound, it's going to be difficult for you to discover it. If you are struggling to create your future because of some emotion that keeps you in the past, you're going to have to come face to face with that emotion. Are you ready for that something greater in you to awaken and come forth out of your body? You are able to overcome those emotions and break the addiction to the pain. Yes, I said addiction. See when you allow something to control you for so long you become fixated to it. That's what addiction is. T rue forgiveness is when you overcome the emotion and take your attention off of the person and the pain. This gives the other person permission to show up differently in your life because you've liberated yourself. This might sound weird but trust me, you want to keep reading if it does. When this happens, all of a sudden your reality can begin to unfold in mysterious ways. You open up the possibility door to new opportunities, new relationships, new joy, new money, new blessings... new miracles. And then you can give thanks for the adversity that served to call out something greater in you. Ready to learn how you can connect to the greater in you? Click here You are a living SOUL not a living flesh..."And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul." Genesis 2:7 And this is why most people struggle because they are more intentional on living from their flesh, or their ego, than from their soul. Let's take a look at Soul Relationships. Most people are "looking" for their soul mate, but they are really looking for someone who can satisfy, or pacify, their flesh in some way. In most cases, they want someone who can make them "look" good. See "looking" for your soul mate indicates that you are desiring something that you can SEE externally. So you draw people to yourself who LOOK the part but don't feel the part. Oh, Oh... did you just feel something as you read that? Yes you see it... but you don't FEEL it. Visually you are stimulated, however within, you later discover that you were taken in by the counterfeit rather than the real deal because you didn't take time to discover your feelings, or worse yet, you didn't honor the feelings that you had. You know that feeling... the one where something just feels off, or something just doesn't feel right? Now you find yourself in a place where you realize that this person that you were "looking" for, the one who you are with, does not resonate with who you truly are, and what you are trying to be. Your expectations, desires, goals, vision and even vibrations clash and then... poof, they are gone, or you are gone within. You no longer feel connected to who you are, and the connection you thought you had with them, left a long time ago. And you're left to wonder (yet again)... where did I go wrong? What is wrong with me? Why do I always make the wrong choices? Let me help you out here... Love is not a "seeing", it's a FEELING...What most mean when they say that they desire a soul mate, is they desire someone who's going to really love them... they are "looking" for love. But love is not something that is seen, it's felt... Love is an energy form that cannot be seen with our human eyes. Love is felt by the heart and soul. We are a living soul, not a living flesh. Our soul is the alive aspect of who we are, our internal being, not our fleshly, external self. Stop looking for love... start FEELING for it. Your feeling self is who you really are. Your soul... your intuition... your inner sense is the true you, and the truth of you. The TRUTH of a Soul Mate...Your true soul mate will complement your own energy, not repel it...
Your true soul mate will see your fullest potential and support it, not suppress it... Your true soul mate will assist, and allow for the growth of your soul, not stifle your growth... Your true soul mate will provide open and honest communication with you, not tell you lies and be closed off... Maybe that's why common sense has left the building because it's time for us to allow our inner sense to guide us. When you set the intention to feel for love, rather than look for it, you make room for the person with the energy that will complement your own to attract to you. It's time for you to distinguish between the desires of your ego versus the needs of your soul. It's time for you to set intentions regarding love rather than just craving visuals of love, that often prove to be counterfeits. Counterfeit money looks like the real thing, but the right tools will quickly discover the fake. It's time to stop "looking" for love and allow your soul to feel for love. If it don't fit, don't force it... just relax and let it go. It's time for you to release what no longer serves your soul. So how do you know? If it's subtracting from you more than it's adding to you... it's a liability... NOT AN ASSET. When you work with me to Unlock Your Relationship Code you will learn how to release what no longer serves you so you can make room for what will serve your soul. Read more about that here... #soulhealing #rejectionrecovery #DivineFeminineAwakening #DivineFemininePowHER #PowHERup #selflove #selfvalue #selfworth#selfrespect #LifeCoach #IntuitiveLifeCoach #SpiritualLifeCoach #Spirituality #Rejection #Abandonment #RejectionandAbandonment #LoveYourself #RelationshipCoach #RelationshipHealing #LoveandRelationships When you are disconnected within you will always feel incomplete outside of yourself.
Your relationships... your career... your health, your finances and yes even your spiritual connection will all feel like something is missing. You may look good on the outside and that may last for an hour, or a day, or even a month, but because you don't FEEL good, the pacification of the external beautification... the hair, the makeup, the clothes, the designer shoes and handbags, will eventually wear off and the internal emptiness that you feel in your soul, will again rise to the surface. You will find yourself spending, yet again, on the "stuff" for another external fix but the internal is where you need to be investing. Feeling disconnected, empty, unfulfilled, and discontent within, will cause you to make poor choices in your life, especially where it pertains to your relationships. And can I be honest with you? You will never be able to connect to what you are seeking outside of yourself if you don't know how to connect to it within yourself. Rejection begins early in life All of us, over the age of 13, have on some emotional level, experienced rejection and/or abandonment. Rejection is a very painful and tricky emotion and it affects you at a soul level. It's like mold... It takes root and it grows and spreads and, consciously, it's affects can go unnoticed. But it's power is stored in the subconscious mind, in your soul, and it has an effect in creating your life, whether you are aware of it or not. Rejection is more than just an emotion. It's an energy that is ever moving and this energy takes root in your soul. Emotions are energy in motion... Unaddressed emotions become stuck... Stuck emotions become fears... Fears become crippling factors that create obstacles to you living the life that, deep in your soul, you desire to have. Rejection is a Spiritual Matter Most people look to a Higher Power, and others, for love and acceptance. However this love and acceptance is never truly felt when you don't know how to love and accept yourself. When you deal with the issues of rejection and abandonment, you are always seeking external validation... whether from God/Spirit/Source or people. However, on a deeper level, you never truly feel validated or accepted. Yes, God loves you... this you know... for the bible tells you so... BUT YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF... And because you don't know how to love yourself, you never truly feel loved by others. Oh you may feel it for a short time, but eventually the doubts creep back in and the feelings of "not enough" resurface. It's Not an Overnight Process and it's Effects Run Deep When my own personal rejection was uncovered over 20 years ago, it was seen as an octopus with very thick tentacles that were rooted in my soul. At the time, I was told that the releasing of this rejection would not happen overnight... that it was going to be a spiritual surgical process. I didn't understand this at the time, but having worked with thousands of men and women in this area over the past 10 years, I now understand why this process is not an overnight one. Rejection is a subtle beast that, unaddressed, spreads it's effects throughout every area of your life... your relationships, your career, your finances, your health and your spiritual connection. The longer the rejection has been felt, the deeper it's rooted and the more widespread are the consequences of it's affects. You may be at a place in your life where you are feeling a need to move past the surface level healing and address things at a soul level. You may even be acknowledging that it's necessary to face the s#!t in your life head on. It's time for you to identify and acknowledge whether the people, places and things in your life are adding to your joy and peace or subtracting from it. It's time for you to come face to face with yourself and understand how you are creating your experiences in life. You CAN be healed and liberated Let's just be honest about it... You are connected to some relationships and situations that are not serving your joy, peace or success. You recognize that you need to do some soul searching and shift some things in order to welcome newness in your life. It's time to shed the old in order to replenish your life with newness. The good news is... Rejection Can Be Released! And I can help you do it. You deserve the love, the peace, joy, fulfillment, adoration, respect, happiness, connection, and abundance but you are having difficulty accessing it because of the mental and emotional blocks within. But all of this can be healed if you decide that that's what you want. Decide today to begin and create a life of connection, PowHER and amazing. If you need help to connect to the Divine aspect of you and the power within, let's talk. Click here now -->> https://denikacarothersschedulingpage.as.me/insight-cal #soulhealing #rejectionrecovery #DivineFeminineAwakening#DivineFemininePowHER #PowHERup #selflove #selfvalue #selfworth#selfrespect #LifeCoach #IntuitiveLifeCoach #SpiritualLifeCoach#Spirituality #Rejection #Abandonment #RejectionandAbandonment#LoveYourself #RelationshipCoach #RelationshipHealing#LoveandRelationships |
AuthorI am Denika Carothers, Life Coach, author, healer and Mental and Emotional Wellness specialist. I help my clients transcend the pain and trauma of rejection, grief, abandonment, loss and abuse. Archives
August 2023
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Copyright 2018 Denika Carothers
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