Why Relationships Are "Hard"

Relationships can be perceived as "hard" for various reasons. Still, one of the biggest reasons why relationships are complex and difficult is that most people are not intentional when it comes to laying the foundation for a healthy, loving, respectful, and prosperous relationship.

Here are some key points to consider when establishing or entering into a new relationship:

Communication: Effective communication is vital in any relationship. And honesty in communication is key.  Don't withhold information because you are afraid of how the person is going to perceive you, especially when the information is a vital component of WHO you are and what you desire. When you don't establish clear communication channels from the beginning or fail to communicate openly and honestly, misunderstandings and conflicts can arise. Without intentional efforts to communicate honestly, it becomes difficult to address issues and work through challenges.

​Expectations: People often enter into relationships with certain expectations, whether conscious or subconscious. We all have preferences and there is no shame in that. When your expectations and desires are not communicated or aligned, it can lead to disappointment and frustration. Building relationships on an intentional foundation involves discussing expectations and understanding each other's needs and boundaries. If the person is not willing to meet you where you are, or vice versa, it's best that you walk away as future conflicts are inevitable.

Shared Values and Goals: A strong relationship is often built on shared values, goals, and interests. If you do not take the time to understand each other's beliefs and aspirations, you might find yourselves on different paths or unable to support one another. Compatibility is key to a connected relationship. 

Trust and Vulnerability: Building trust takes time and effort. If you go into a relationship untrusting, you are beginning with cracks in your foundation. Being vulnerable and opening up emotionally is a crucial part of establishing trust in a relationship. Without intentionally creating a safe space for vulnerability, it can be challenging for your relationship to deepen and grow. If you are apprehensive to share the inner most part of who you are with your partner, that's not the person for you.

Time and Commitment: Meaningful relationships require time and commitment. If you don't invest the necessary time and effort into nurturing your relationship, it can lead to neglect and a lack of emotional connection.

Conflict Resolution: No relationship is entirely free of conflict. Intentionally learning how to resolve your conflicts constructively is essential for a healthy relationship. Avoiding or mishandling conflicts can cause long-term damage to your relationship.

Personal Growth: In a relationship you should support each other's personal growth and development. When you neglect this aspect, it can lead to feelings of stagnation or being held back.

Gratitude and Appreciation: Expressing gratitude and appreciation for each other is essential in any relationship. When people fail to acknowledge and show gratitude for the efforts and sacrifices made by their partners, it can create feelings of resentment and unfulfillment.

​Balance: Balancing individual needs with the needs of the relationship is crucial. When you prioritize your own desires without considering the impact on your partner or the relationship, it can lead to an unhealthy dynamic. Relationships require intentional effort, open communication, mutual understanding, and a commitment to personal growth and the growth of the relationship itself. Building a strong foundation based on these principles can help navigate the challenges and complexities that relationships may bring, making them more fulfilling and rewarding for both of you.

If you need help navigating your relationship I can help you. My services include pre-marital coaching/counseling, marriage and relationship coaching/counseling and divorce coaching/counseling. Click here and let's talk.