Did you tell your parents everything? NO!
Would they have liked you to? Of course!
Do your children tell you everything? NO!
Would you like them to? Of course!
Let’s turn back the hands of time for a few minutes. What were some of the reasons why you didn’t tell your parents things?
Remember when you were a child who felt like this?
When we become parents, our biggest downfall can be forgetting how we were when we were a child. If we would be willing to remember our personalities, characteristics and short comings when we were young, as parents we could be successful at understanding our children because chances are, we were that SAME child in so many ways. Ever heard the saying, “The chip doesn’t fall too far from the tree”? Well yes, in so many ways your children are you.
Not forgetting where you came from not only helps you to be better in life, but it also helps you to be a better parent. I am a firm believer in “what you sow you reap.” Much of what we sow as children, we reap as parents. That’s why our parents sit back so often in delight, when they see what we have to deal with in our children. They feel like payback is a joyful thing!
Raising a child does not have to be as difficult as we make it out to be. If we would be willing to turn back the hands of time and remember how we were as children, what we did not like, what we would have liked, how we wish our parents had been with us, etc., we would be better able to understand, and also relate to our children.
But rest assured in this… if you don’t open the lines of communication with your child in the beginning, it could be a struggle to open them up when they get older. If you did not establish a foundation of comfortable communication when they were young (2 – 7 yrs of age), it might be difficult for them to openly and comfortably talk to you in middle school age and upwards. But it's not impossible to achieve an open line of communication.
If you want your children to openly communicate with you, you have to set the example by openly communicating with them. It’s no different from any other relationship of intimacy and closeness. You want your children to allow you to see into them, but will you be open to allowing them to see into you?
The things that we naively believe we are hiding from our children, trust me, we are not. Children are very wise and perceptive, especially this generation. They see so much more than we give them credit for.
When I was raising my children, not only did I openly communicate with them, and leave the lines of communication always open for them, I also learned how to hear what my children were not saying. In this way I was able to talk to them about things that they might not have been comfortable initiating a conversation on. I can teach you how to hear what your children do not say in my Wise Parenting for Soulful Connections program.
Children are faced with so much in today’s world, that it is vital that parents understand how to communicate with them. When communication breaks down, so does the relationship. And parents, it’s important to remember that communication is not just talking… communication is a two way street. You have to know how to hear your children when they speak, and even when they don’t.
In all you do BE Love and BE Power!
Love and Light…
I am a lover of life and a lover of people. When we learn to connect in our heart space, love will be the driving force behind all we do. BE Love, BE Power!